'm watching movies all day in a state of constant joy and excitement. That's what I expected, good, evil is a genius, I'm going to see this about to change the way I have of seeing the world. The portals of perception has to do not with drugs, having to do with the historical moments to register the red dots in the line of life. Here is when I changed. Circa 2000 Cassavetes - Truffaut. The last film in the Cosmos "circa 2006?. I do not know, but let's not talk of the past. Let's talk about this.
All these days were for celebration. To vanity came to the appointment. Do you have to be well dressed to go to Bafici? Yes. Although I think we should be well dressed in general, do not deny that I put an extra effort when it comes to attend the festival. We talk about differentiation, if different from the rest. It is not something ignore the large window that Starbucks gives me a way to dress in women attending the Bafici. I try to read, most of the time I get and I consume The Third Reich. But then I realize that there are different ways of counting time. What I read Bolaño? I turn the ipod and I realize that only twenty minutes. Why I thought of eternity, something similar to me that life is going? Mystery. How long was I watching the people go? Almost an hour. I watched the people go for almost an hour without interruption and with no concrete judgments about these people who do not know. And with 29 years and I do not know. It is delightful to be alone is a great advantage. Not only avoid having to speak, a practice that I have to start booking for a few, also allows you to observe that they are not. Who are all those girls over 30 years with grimaces that right now I'm seeing the girl to strip me of lace laced? Hey baby Do these ladies are your peers? It is delightful to see them, because I'ma woman and unlike Alan Pauls I do know how to build a woman.
'm 30 and I got to meet many objectives. I'm an obsessive person who lives in chaos. The orderly chaos. I have finish lines. I turned a lot of my time. I really did. Neither is public. Everything is privacy. Success is sleeping late.
Having 30 years means something right? It's a brand new calendar. I grew up with my mother telling me that 30 is the best age and grew up between men who love women. My father, who was not a good person, but down the road a man and died as such, never gave me the feeling of being eroticized for him. Memory I have so many games and my anger from them, I have seared my constant duels with him but I can not remember the brand of pain of the couple dead. I think that perhaps ashamed to cry for them, not because they are not worth anything, simply because was not as bad as the day I realized that my father went over to the bathroom to wash my hair. I have very long hair, I have no memory of another man I wash the head, in fact I do not like me touching your hair, it bothers me greatly. But sometimes when I'm good let me untangle my boyfriend and I realize that it does so with such finesse that overwhelms me. I never pull the hair, is not rude, it is not rough, it pains me. Even when this tangled or when wet and have to drive while the hair dryer and brush. Even in those times I hurt and I feel that for a moment let us both an Oedipus complex necessary for me to live on and it somehow never leave.
The hair of the girls who look weak. Their hairstyles, if they are, are all too strange. Do not understand why some people choose to have short hair. I do not understand why women cut their hair, I think a brutal arbitrariness against what I believe natural and beautiful. The other day while cutting my hair, I asked if he thought Mariano continue to let it grow. Yes, I said. He is also very gentle with my hair and after 6 years of Horacio got me cut it. We have been one and a half. How far can you grow hair? I asked. We can find, he said. Are there people who can not get her hair grow?. Yes, I said. What a terrible thought, really, terrible.
I spend all my time sitting in Starbucks, surrounded by my peers in class and cultural consumption. Perhaps one of these girls, the best not the small group of ladies in their 30's, I cut hair the same cloth that I cut it for me. Maybe yes or maybe not. There is a guy who a few days ago that came with "Suicide" . I want to talk, I realized that the girls of the '30s also found. When you pass them laugh. Note that the girls looked circa 35 with some astonishment. That gave me full. The look that, the book in his hand, always alone, headphones. That gave me full. In pain, perhaps circa 35 are the days of horror, we must be careful, we must be very careful. One must know how to let the dress without a bra, no firm tits hysteria, the mark of life. We can not use skirt, lip gloss and calcite with flowers. No. you can not. Then I realized that this guy is circa 23 as much. And I'm circa 29 and I'd rather not look at me look at me like that. Anyway, I'm circa 29 to circa 34. It's donne.
Every day I see as is Alan Pauls, also alone. This large, around 50 is not it, but I think she looks better greatness. I watch it happen and I think dialogue I would have imagined him. How much I would be silent mouth. All you remember. The attention that would make his gestures, body language, his literary corpus, their experience. I wish we reached with a time of tacit flirt fleeting as the memory will keep the about me in your memory. Ask if it is difficult to Love in the Time of Cholera. Find out if you can live forever in a long novel. Tell me who is reading but it is better that I ask only out of politeness, I'm reading. For gentlemen, dear. For admiration. Underline The Past, Alan. I feel stupid and do not ever want sex or nudity is an issue. Confess that sex is something too complex that sometimes I wish it did not exist. He will understand that. But one thing I would ask him about all the things every time I see him move toward a movie, always impeccable, always him. Alan is difficult to raise a woman .... Alan ... it's hard to be me?
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